The Last Train

Sitting on a bench, I hear,
Nostalgia strumming through the walls around,
I failed to catch the last train home,
Much like most of the times,
When I fail to hurry right after things start to leave,
I should’ve asked them to stop,
But I kept searching for reasons,
Trying to figure out one answer,
Between two opposing things,
And like the train, they didn’t stop,
I just kept watching and they left.
That night I learnt how hard it is,
To be alone on a cold night,
With no-one to stare at,
Black coffee with no sugar and two cigarettes,
I could feel the trouble coursing through my veins,
With not enough nicotine to relieve me of my pain,
The desolation kept growing,
There was a straight path ahead of me,
And it was going to be a long journey,
I didn’t want to be alone,
But there was no one I could be with,
And believe me,
I have followed loneliness all my life,
Every moment was like a bitter end,
Caught up in circles of flashbacks,
And memories became even darker,
Things could be easier if I took the right path,
If only there was a right path.
Is this what I asked for?
I know life’s an endless story,
But it isn’t the never-ending part that haunts me,
It’s the part where we are stuck in strange places,
Trying to crawl back to reality,
We all need someone to lean on
To help us to find a  way when we are lost,
But not all of us find them,
Not all of us are lucky enough,
And I realized that I was the loneliest person that night,
Thousands of thoughts came to my mind,
I wish I had someone to travel with,
I wish there was someone I could hold right now,
But what if this isn't the time for me to go home?
Home might not be my destination for now,
Maybe I am destined to go somewhere else,
I needed another coffee and a cigarette,
Hours passed and thoughts kept coming,
I saw the next train,
But it wasn't the right one,
I knew if I got on that train,
I'll go somewhere,
Not home, but somewhere.
There were so many things I wanted to do,
To run away from everything,
To run away and never come back,
To find someone far away from here,
And start from the beginning, again.
Haven't we all had thoughts like this?
But something stopped me,
It was hope.
The belief that everything was going to be alright,
That I was going to find the answers,
That everything was going to be balanced at the end.
Half a dozen trains came and went while I kept watching,
Surrounded by a million thoughts,
And no-one to talk,
Destiny painted a clear picture of my life on that night,
That was exactly how my life had been,
I knew I was never going to love anyone,
I knew I will always fail to catch the last train,
I was going to be alone most of the times,
All I had to do was not to lose hope,
And wait for the right train,
And wish for the things to become alright,
And then I saw the train,
A smile came on my face after a long time,
I was finally going home.
There were 7 cups in front of me,
And so many cigarette butts
I couldn't even count,
I got on the train and somehow made it home.
When I got back,
I wasn't the same person.
In that one night,
I grew a bit older.
I knew exactly what kind of man I was going to be,
I knew exactly what kind of life I was going to live,
I knew exactly what kind of story I was going to write.